Power still down so nothing for it but to have a chippy for lunch and a kip.
At least the #ashes has cheered me up this morning. Now Punter’s gone I’d be hoping to skittle them for 250-300 max.
It’s fucking month end and the fucking power at fucking work has gone down. It’ll fucking take 4 fucking hours to fucking fix. Fuck!
And RIP Bobby Robson :(
Right, off to play football. Which is just as well as only Michael Jackson has been more idle than me this month.
Bah followers plummeting! Surely it’s not still too early for Jacko jokes??
As someone who works in finance I LOVE when month-end falls on a Friday. Look here it comes to shit-fuck my weekend. Smile away, ya bastard.
A Little Respect and Rock Me Amadeus are in my head today. Listen 80s, you made people look stupid and we all laughed, now kindly fuck off.
Fortune favours the brave they say. Well I just took a cheese grater to my scrotum and still no lottery win. Bloody liars I say.
Classic Mock the Week just made me laugh out loud. “My mother-in-law is so fat that other, smaller mother-in-laws orbit around her”
Confirmed going to the England v Croatia game in September, hell yeah.
Watching The Running Man, oh yeah. Whose world isn’t brightened by some Schwarzenegger kick-assery? And I want one of those yellow jumpsuits
#thingsweneversay You know what turns me on about Jordan? Her sparkling wit and intellect.
#thingsweneversay When I grow up, I want to work for Her Majesty’s Revenue & Customs!
Sweet Zombie Jesus, one of the cats has dropped a shit so bad it actually offends my nostrils.
Note to self: late nights = lack of sleep = you tired, genius.
I’d forgotten how good the slo-mo prison scene was. Gratuitous yes, but kick-ass!!
About to watch Watchmen again! Wooo! Yeah! Woo! Yay! Woooooooooo… *cough*
Bought Watchmen on Blu-Ray. Kinda annoyed at myself because I know I’m still going to buy the all-singing all-dancing version in December.
Can anyone recommend good home broadband and free laptop deals? Need to change my broadband and want a laptop, so two birds, one stone.
No wonder I love this film so much. It has the Candyman, Ghost Rider, Dr Cox, Kyle Reese and James Bond in it. It’s geek nirvana.
Twitter seems to be super-fast at clearing up the spambots lately. I haven’t even had a chance to get to know them and their spamily, sniff
I’m pretty sure I live in a world depicted by Mike Judge in Idiocracy. All I’ve done today is stuff my face and chuckle at Total Wipeout.
Just watched Gran Torino, excellent film. Feeling reassured about my grandmother’s casual racism. Less so about her arsenal of weapons.
#whenitakeovertheworld DFS will be ordered to have at least a season between sales, as I believe they have lost all idea of what a sale is.
#whenitakeovertheworld pizzas will contain no fat or calories, without losing any of it’s deliciousnessity.
#whenitakeovertheworld deliciousnessity will be the first new word added to the Oxford English Dictionary. Second: crisitunity.
#whenitakeovertheworld Commercials are banned in all forms. If anyone should even mildly praise a consumer item I’ll ram it up their ass.
#whenitakeovertheworld A machine with the ability to ram things up arses will be invented. This probably already exists in the world of porn
#whenitakeovertheworld I’ll find a way to read women’s minds. And be horrified by what I find.
#whenitakeovertheworld Matthew McConaughey will never make a rom-com again, or I will surgically attach his face to a monkey’s ballsack.
#whenitakeovertheworld Ashley Cole will be made to be Boy George’s manservant.
RT @ruaridh83: #whenitakeovertheworld peter Kaye will stop dressing like a middle aged women and tell some jokes again.
#whenitakeovertheworld More Than will still be allowed to advertise, purely on the fact they use East 17’s It’s Alright. All hail More Than.
As my future utopia is apparently too violent, #whenitakeovertheworld there’ll be free ice cream for all.
#whenitakeovertheworld All phone calls will be answered by the Mr Burns-like “Ahoy-hoy”.
#whenitakeovertheworld Grammatical errors will be punishable by torture.
After a week away my Sky+ is bursting at the seems like a prostitute after a particularly busy night’s work. So, time to watch True Blood.
Dammit, spelt seams wrong. Grammatical OCD means I’ll spend the next hour partaking in self-flagulation. Talk amongst yourselves for a bit.
#whenitakeovertheworld I’ll order scientists to make my mind up for me as to whether I think Anna Paquin is hot or not.
#whenitakeovertheworld Male BMW drivers will be castrated, no exceptions.
Finally on 3G, which is totally awesomes btw, but now home and have no coverage here. Exce-frickin-llent.
Half a day left of the course. The evening will be spent looking for the fabled Lost Will to Live.
600 followers, wow! And they’re all valid, I know every spambot personally. We go out, have a drink, spam every fucker in sight. Good times.
Loving the photos from your youth bud :D @CHRISDJMOYLES
After 9 months of horrendously slow Internet connection on my phone I’ve realised I’m still on a 2G sim. You can all line up to palm my face
The Hangover was hilarious, every bit as good as I’d heard. The film that is, hangovers in general are neither hilarious or good. No no.
Decided I need to literally laugh my ass off, so going to watch The Hangover tonight. It’ll be hard sticking my ass back on, but worth it.
Not wearing a jacket to work + pissing it down = me winning Tuesday’s wet t-shirt competition.