This is my BOOMSTICK!

Hangovers are the devil’s work, and drink is his preparation. Holycrapfeellikeshitkillmenow

My god I’m pissed. Just thought I’d share that with the twitter nation

Smokers corner Walkabout Doncaster http://twitpic.com/6avb7

Something tells me I’ve caught the sun today! Holy crap! Rhubarb and custard! http://twitpic.com/69iti

That’s over the line by a mile

I’ve seen 80-year-old minges flap less than Petr Cech

What an effort by Malouda, take a boo son

Good goal or bad keeping? I’m undecided.

Now it’s 2-1 it’s game over. Everton haven’t got enough in their locker to get an equaliser against Chelski.

So anyone got any idea how you get the itv HD view? They said press the red button but I’ll be damned if I can see where it is in that menu.

RT @Gay_Burns: @pauljchambers you have to add it manually to sky mate. Search google for sky itv hd there’s instructions out there.

Today was not a day to be at work with no air con. I have melted. Love, The Puddle formerly known as Paul.

#followfriday @nik_kee_dee Queen of the # and mouth like a sailor, love it :D

#followfriday @onegreatshot Great lad, great tweets. Funny and knows his footy.

#followfriday @paulson500 Excellent conversations but beware because you’ll end up tweeting something which, out of context, looks dodgy!

#followfriday @pd1001 Very interesting bloke and seems to be philosophical today :D

#followfriday @loulou290 Top lady, very interesting when she’s had a few drinks ;)

#followfriday @LeedsUtd365 The greatest twitter site for the greatest team on Earth.

Thanks for all the #followfriday mentions. Time to do my own I guess!

#followfriday @damohopo THE man on twitter, if you aren’t following him you don’t know what you’re missing. Do it!!

#followfriday @crazycolours There are not enough superlatives for her, great gal. Funny, interesting, the works.

#followfriday @Jook Sure he’s my cousin but he’s also funny as hell. As dry as an 80-year-old catholic.

#followfriday @Flutterbys Truly fantastic woman, perhaps the nicest person on here!

#followfriday @pd1001 Very interesting bloke and seems to be in a philosophical mood today :D

#followfriday @PortiaFendeman Lovely and articulate lady. @ricey80 Mate in real life for a reason and knows his music.

#followfriday @SaileshR Good guy, very funny @tdotwells Well I’ve known him 18 years and I can still stand him, that has to say something!

#followfriday And some more @noirfilmnoir @nicolalalalala @PinkLady15 @sween @themanwhofell

#followfriday Here they are @bustyb73 @CMoz @davejmorgan @davesusetty @Gem_W @josefnankivell @katcal @Keryje @lrpw1302 @mark_Illi @Mr603

#followfriday Just because I haven’t done a full one for the following people does not mean I love them any less, I’m just lazy.

If I ruled the world, I’d make it illegal for advertisers to create very fucking annoying adverts, where idiots mime If I Ruled The World.

My leg is killing today. It’s only a freakin graze for god sake, when did I turn into a big baby?? What do you mean I always have been?

My leg after footy :( http://twitpic.com/64zxp

RT @Leeds_MAD: Well done Barcelona. Apparently 68,000 tshirts were already printed proclaiming a Manchester United ‘Victory’! Ah ha ha ha ha

RT @alandavies1: Job vacancy for a welder to put a roof back on a double decker bus. Apply at Old Trafford.

So long scum… You have been poor, poor, poor.

Also, I think that makes Chelsea the true winners of the Champions League!

One thing I am not happy to see in HD… Alex Ferguson’s nose hair.

The massive fit of laughter I just broke out in tells me I want Barca to win.

Ive decided I want neither team to win tonight. Blowing up the stadium is the answer. It’s in Rome so I’ll give those illuminati folk a call

Ok, bets are on. 1-0 scum, Ronaldo. And 2-1 Barca, Iniesta to score first.

If you say Steven Seagal in front of a mirror 3 times, you will be karate-chopped to death #seagalfacts

Got a new trend! @davejmorgan Steven Seagal’s ponytail is made of the bones of his enemies. #seagalfacts

So long freaky group from my nightmares #bgt

I’d rather lick my own arsehole than listen to another operatic singer #bgt

Anyone else want to slap Ben on Eastenders? Wait, first #bgt, now Eastenders?? I need to evaluate my life.

I’ve never heard Rule Brittania sung by a woman with a cattle prod up her arse before #bgt

Ooh America’s Got Talent coming soon too. At least it’ll be a classier affair, what with America being a far more restrained nation #bgt

Why, why, why am I watching #bgt?? I think all sense has left me.

I’ll admit, I love this father and son act. There I said it! #bgt

Going to watch Bill Bailey: Part Troll for the umpteenth time. Genius and hilarity all wrapped up in a neat little package.